There used to be a time, not that long ago, when I was in love with chaos and unrest. I know, that sounds kind of ‘evil’ in a sense, but it’s true. There was a time when I loved when things in my life were in a state of unrest, when there was no structure or quiet, when there was always a crisis that needed my attention.
As the years have gone by, I’ve come to detest that need for crisis. I’ve learned to enjoy the quiet, the peaceful moments of my life. I’ve come to appreciate the calm in the midst of all the storms, instead of obsessing over the storms themselves.
I was addicted to drama. I was addicted to problems and gossip.
What I didn’t realize, is that that addiction fueled a poison that was working its way through my body, my life, and even my future.
I could blame some of my love for drama on my family. But in reality, even after I moved out and ventured into the world on my own, I couldn’t help but latch onto the latest piece of gossip, because it was a delicious spice to be sprinkled on my day. I hated when my car broke down or when I was in constant arguments with those around me, but there was also a thrill to it because it felt as if life was being breathed into me, that something was happening.
Little did I know that the life being breathed into me wasn’t life at all, but poisonous gas with only one purpose: destroy me from the inside out.
There are six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers. – Proverbs 6:16-19
When I learned that my love for strife was actually enabling me to cause strife, I began to distance myself from myself. I learned to keep my mouth shut, I learned to stay away from hectic and potentially toxic situations, and I learned to pour my time and effort into more productive aspirations, such as writing and starting my publishing company.
Distancing myself, I was able to get out of the cloud of toxic gas and see each situation for what it really was: harmful, debilitating, destructive.
Now, I can’t participate in strife or chaos or anything else of that matter without feeling conviction for it in my spirit. I find I sometimes have to exit from a relationship or event because of it, but that’s me taking steps to preserve my health and my healthy lifestyle.
When it comes to dramatics, don’t be afraid to make a dramatic exit. You’ll be better off for it – every single time. I guarantee it.
Have you been involved in toxic, dramatic situations (arguments, mountains out of molehills, gossip) that you know you shouldn’t be a part of? Share your story with me. Most importantly, get out. The cost is not worth the momentary high you might get from blowing everything out of proportion.