Dissatisfied With The Satisfying

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“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou

Today is a good a time as any to confess something to all of you: I complain. A lot.

What’s funny, is I don’t even notice I’m complaining most of the time. But my wife does. My friends do. Strangers hear it.

As the years have moved on, I’ve grown into more and more of an introvert. I’m not sure why that is. I guess I’ve just experienced so much heartache and so many struggles that I just don’t want to interact with society or the world as much as I used to. I would say I’m close to turning into a certified hermit, but I think that would be stretching the truth.

In all truth, I never used to be this introverted. I used to love making people laugh, used to love being on the stage. I embraced friendships and surrounded myself with spontaneous acts of whimsy day in and day out. But as the years have aged me, I’ve found myself becoming somewhat jaded. I hate to say that, but it’s the truth, and what’s the point of writing these posts if I’m not going to be honest with you or myself?

This jadedness has in turn formed a root of bitterness, which in turn has produced fruit of dissatisfaction with simple things and a host of complaining about everything under the sun.

I complain when there’s traffic…

I complain when it’s hot out…

I complain when the neighbor parks too close to my car or turns their music up too loud…

I complain when the store is out of my favorite item…

I complain when my internet runs slower than usual…

I complain…

I complain…

I complain…

My wife has noticed my epidemic increasing over the last few years, and I in turn have noticed it more in myself in the last six months.

But why do I complain so much? What causes this jaded streak in me? Maybe it’s because I get set in my ways and when those ways don’t stay consistent, I feel there is an injustice being done. All the struggles and heartache has created habits in me to protect myself from more struggles and heartache. So I have defenses – structures that I build around my daily routine and my life in general. These defenses keep others out, and also ‘protect’ me from more pain.

Maybe I am a little bitter from certain seasons of my life that have come and gone. Things should have turned out differently by now, right? It shouldn’t take this long to get to that one sweet season where everything falls into place. And those seasons I did enjoy, I didn’t realize I enjoyed until the very end, so I want those seasons back, but they are dead and gone.

Maybe I feel like I shouldn’t have to put up with certain things after having put up with them for so long already. Maybe I’m tired of everyone’s crap – the way backstabbing friends, traitorous family, and selfish strangers treat me. Maybe in retaliation, I lash out with bitterness and jadedness and venom.

Maybe it’s D) All Of The Above.

Maybe I tend to swing the pendulum too far to the other side instead of finding balance in the middle.

The first step to any kind of improvement in ones’ life is to acknowledge the problem, and then you must begin making changes to fix it. So in the interest of honesty, we’ll say I tend to swing the pendulum so far to the other side, instead of finding balance in the middle. I have good intentions, for sure, but those good intentions will only take me so far. I also need balance.

So each day, I am catching myself and my complaints. I am catching my tongue before it can spew more venom. I am doing my absolute best to either speak more positively about stuff or not speak about it at all.

I am blessed beyond reason. And most times, I take my blessings for granted. I don’t stop to smell the roses, I stop to extend a critical observation about them…

They are not red enough…

They have too many thorns…

They smell weird…

The petals aren’t perfect…

The stem is too long…

Instead, I need to stop, take a whiff, and thank God that I have a rose to enjoy today.

I’m a work in progress, that’s a fact. But each day I strive to work on the things that hold me back – like complaining and being dissatisfied with a very satisfying, very blessed life.

Maybe you struggle with the same?


One thought on “Dissatisfied With The Satisfying

  1. My husband has often said that one of the hardest things to learn is to be content, no matter where you’re at in life. ☺

    I understand what you’re talking about David… We have to be careful not to let the Thief steal our joy. 😉
    I have to remind myself to feast on the Source of my joy… Not always easy when so much of the world tries to move our focus. 😕

    Like

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